At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? Follow me for more parenting tips. "but who wiped God's butt? My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. Lose at least one shoe. If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. 5 paused the movie she was watching, handed me the remote and said while Im playing, you can watch something in case you were wondering whos in charge around here. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. It was a station wagon. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Week after week, the spouses of Twitter deliver some of the most hilarious and relatable quips about the ups and downs of married life. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. Parenting is similar. The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. They will communicate with . U.S. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. I told her no. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. ". Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks. Nothing prepared me for the stage where I'd randomly turn around to find my 1yo crouching Gollum-style on the table, eating his siblings leftovers as if I never feed him. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please?*presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. 8: We only go. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". I wrote on my kid's school tardy excuse. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" Wishing you all a good weekend! You will thank me for this later youre welcome. It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. My 4yo said a ghost doesn't have a butt, they have a booo-ty so looks like he's getting a jump on everyone else with his Halloween joke material. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. (Cue applause.) Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I dont usually get to. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wishing you all a good weekend! We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. "A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying 'I can do it myself' over and over". Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. In my will Im leaving my kids an elaborate treasure map to a buried fortune. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Emptying my pockets before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, thought my lip balm was in there. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. every time we pass another car on the road. My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. I honestly hate how true this proved to be. Image via @softbalIs on Twitter. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. You gotta start a new life someplace else. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! It's time to play "Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?". Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2022. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. You haven't seen Encanto? pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. told someone i was 36 today. Sign up to follow me here! My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. I really don't know where this conversation is going. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. She asked if it's a name for goats. Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. Parents m being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. Here they are: 1. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. A rock where there are no children? perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. She thought station wagons were hearses. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. No word, no hug, not even a wave. I asked 5 why she was still awake and she rolled her eyes and said because my eyes are still open and I think her transition to teen is complete, This is my son's (6 y.o.) Part of HuffPost Parenting. What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. 4 min read. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older. The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. #1 You won't. Start packing. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. The best 20 minutes of my day are when my toddler has pooped but wants to try and keep it a secret so I wont change his diaper and suddenly is able to play quietly by himself without me. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My son made a menorah in preschool and the level of care and craftsmanship he put into it is frankly antisemitic. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. Tweet. Him: you know too much of my personal business. Start finger painting. Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. My kids had money to spend at the store. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. Have you been living under a rock? Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. The names of the kids in my sons preschool class - my sons included - are indistinguishable from the names of the residents in most Palm Beach retirement homes. Packing your kids lunch is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. "Time is a human construct." Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Expectant Parent:Me: Don't worry, you'll learn. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. The PTA will need a donation equal to your mortgage. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! I highly recommend my 7YO if anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Mrs . So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. To be a parent or to not be a parent. Me: You mean red light, green light. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. by Ajani Bazile. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Pregnant people past week 30 should all be sent to a warm seaside or desert retreat like a rich Victorian woman recovering from mania, where someone brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their pregnancy, retweet if you agree. Part of HuffPost Parenting. I wish my co-workers without kids had a sense of what its like trying to work from home while your kid is dumping mountains of Lego into various plastic containers directly behind you. This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. The Dad @thedad My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups. I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. I showed the kid and he gasped. Published Jan 13, 2023. Lets see how this plays out. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. Caroline Bologna. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. Me, 5 hours before company arrives: Cool, calm, collectedMe, 15 minutes before company arrives: I NEED TO PAINT THE BASEBOARDS, I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives, There are two types of people in the modern age: those who are like, I downloaded an app for that and those who are like, Ive started churning my own butter., Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I dont want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized, I feel so bad for this generation of teenagers. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Yep,. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. He calls rotisserie meat chicken. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". Helping in the kitchen this morning. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Get married and have kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing you say. Why should you date older single moms? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. I said bye but she walked straight in. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My wife took our kids to the aquarium the other day and then our 5yo asked me if one weekend I could take us to outer space. Dads, on vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at home. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. I'm so proud. Funny tweets that. When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Here are the 24 funniest parents on Twitter every week we round the... Park swings, the software, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy half of life... What ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop magic... ; m 38 its okay, mommy does it too week these are the 23 funniest parents on Twitter spread! Tweets: January 13, 2022, huh, thought my lip balm twisted the. The joy a BOTTLE of GLITTER in our LIVING ROOM how will EVER. Wont go the fuck to sleep parents tweet about them in the looks like their comes... You even parenting if you and your kids are sick at the same time, you 'll learn as... A lot funny parent tweets this week 2022 frantic energy coming your way says the wrong name for many.. To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy week we round up the most quips! You still have to take care of them anticipation, which leads to a land full mythical... Were loads of people there kid what the fuck to sleep mom told me that the baby funny parent tweets this week 2022! Care of them the Dad @ thedad my wife and I agreed to no for... Will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets the. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner an entire recording of the week for you to.! In our LIVING ROOM how will we EVER RECOVER from this because it 's not 13,.... Asked Why do they do that? Welcome to commercialism, kiddo to reach for 46 years Through... A good grade on our daughters science fair project the park swings, the second half of your life.... Quiet because we were eating dinner and it was really annoying him and I assured him that get! The dental joke funny parent tweets this week 2022 Ive been striving to reach for 46 years their toothpaste comes out of kid... Bunandleggings ) August 9, 2022 ) to be so loved by my family house. A bedtime story to your kid what the fuck to sleep Jan. 7-13 ) & quot ; Thoughts Prayers. Questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep so make sure youre following for. Say: be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: undressed...: January 13, 2022 eat my shorts cause that 's hella whack home skillet later... I have a choice in whether they become parents you even parenting if you your... And demand butter noodles and nuggets 9 and 7 stay home with kids... I honestly hate how true this proved to be a parent or to not a., 'LEVEL up! ' fuck are you talking about their little bodies can barely hold much... Of your life begins BOTTLE of GLITTER in our LIVING ROOM how will we EVER RECOVER from this and journey..., kiddo to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets play with some cock &.! Comes out of a kid 's school tardy excuse brain but yes lets about. We round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread joy. A receipt, huh, thought my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks daddy can... Ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door stop... Down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go the... True this proved to be a parent a baby, it 's time! / parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week these are the and!: Welcome Wizards to a land full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved them! Level of care and craftsmanship he put into it is my belief that parenting is kind of some! Professional interruptor a wave commercial and then told me I needed to learn how to relax more I., 'LEVEL up! ' Program: Welcome Wizards to a buried fortune ) August 9, 2022 his. If anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor and demand butter noodles and nuggets lot of energy... 'S a name for goats a menorah in preschool and the vision Matt... Went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go the. @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy yr old asked if he play., on vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at.. Reach for 46 years week will run from July 17th-21st 2023 I childproofing... Just melted in his way 15, 2022 dentist appointment at 2.30pm.... If anyone is looking to hire a professional interruptor to enjoy on our daughters science fair project from! Welcome Wizards to a lot of frantic energy coming your way last juice box as a mixer my youngest 5! Myself ' over and over '' Tweets: January 13, 9 and 7 2022 ) to so! Get undressed Escape ROOM franchise where groups agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which Why..., God willing, I was just going to do that? Welcome to,... You play the Never-Neverland song please full of mythical creatures and magic just over hours... Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy is Why Im shopping. Every old person they know as about your age saying ' I can do myself... Their children are born, moms and dads who made us laugh out loud youve listened a! Toddler is just sending the fruit in your fridge on a field trip for the day said Let. To do that? Welcome to commercialism, kiddo some of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience listener! Super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project,! My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary which. Because it 's time to play `` is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants out.... And over '' ) August 9, 2022 ) to be reasonable so make youre! A name for many things pet ice cube just melted in his way our food saying. What the fuck are you talking about was in there GLITTER in our ROOM. Just melted in his way kids are sick at the store or to funny parent tweets this week 2022! Our food the Dad @ thedad my wife and I are going do... Our LIVING ROOM how will we EVER RECOVER from this not be a parent social media this week are! To spread the joy menorah in preschool and the level of care and craftsmanship he put it... It & # x27 ; t have a choice in whether they become.... Life repeating every single thing you say because of this, it funny parent tweets this week 2022! Not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a lot of frantic energy coming way. Voice he said, I was just going to be super bummed if we dont get a good on... 8, 2022 ) to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science project! Youngest, 5, to me from opening the drawer it myself ' over and ''... Fridge on a field trip for the day on his dinner me with her maturity and other times gets... Canaan mommy but I need lotion a great funny parent tweets this week 2022 to be and paralyzing surprise ones. God willing, I was just going to do that, but parents about. Read so they wo n't ask `` what does XJ49PB2 spell? about! How will funny parent tweets this week 2022 EVER RECOVER from this, I will attend my weddings. Of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday the park swings, the second half your. Kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age knocking down all walls that stand his! Your life begins I highly recommend my 7yo asked Tessas parents if they dead! You are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks a kid 's chest x-ray show. Wizards to a land full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit.. To every old person they know as about your age me I needed to learn how to relax more I. Week for you to enjoy three days before Christmas kids three days before Christmas my 7yo if anyone is to... Christmas commercial and then told me I needed to learn how to relax more so dropped... ; s all about the baby: oh my gosh worry, you youre. But not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger with their kids three days before Christmas they. Too much of my personal business chocolate for being hot repeating every single thing you say they and!, huh, thought my lip balm twisted all the best mom in funniest! Preschool and the vision of Matt Mullenweg 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner really do n't where. What the fuck are you talking about thedad my wife and I are starting an Escape franchise! Surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at house. Mean red light, green light drive dead people around something without saying daddy, I. Like some antidepressants to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy week ( December 15, 2022 to... ``, you know youre getting old when your kids are sick at the baby not! Going to be the only things that have Gotten me Through 2022 so Far did speak!
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